It’s cold and rainy tonight and I’m wide awake which is unheard of. I’m about to do some overdue homework and do my hair cuz “MY hair is laid like”…rabbit’s nest. Thanks to being out in the elements I went from looking like Claire to Theo…you know how that goes.
I haven’t spent a dime since Tuesday which I am very proud of, especially since money woes threw me into depression on Monday. I was wrecked just wondering how the hell was I going to conjure up cash out of thin air. Being pissed at how all throughout the weekend i’d been on this “live your life!” tangent and then here I found myself being strangled by finances. And realizing I would be broke as shit for my birthday, wouldn’t be able to do anything i’d planned on doing, wouldn’t be able to do what I really wanted…it was painful I can’t lie. Luckily as a typical Taurean I always have a back up plan, and a plan c for my plan b. I’m going to make it good for myself, no feeling sorry for myself.
We were audited yet again this week. And guess who was interviewed and observed? Me of course. I rocked that shit, I don’t think I’ve ever been so efficient in all the years I’ve been there. I mean I killed it. In my everyday life I seldom have the need nor opportunity to impress or be challenged (also, I hate being challenged), but this sparked something in me. Sometimes I get too comfortable being “good enough.” I can be amazing. I am not mediocre. I am not average. I guess I just need to be inspired sometimes.
Things with M have reverted right back to old times, sans sleeping together. It’s funny, we started talking again and it was really that simple. I was getting sick of always trying to dodge him and sick of how he was always throwing himself into my way trying to force interaction. I don’t like wanting to punch his lungs out. I want to keep it as is. Work Homie gave his 2-weeks notice today. I was bummed but happy for him; he deserves good things. I honestly don’t know what I’ll do without him. A’s been hovering around a bit lately. This is weird because we’ve been avoiding each other for months, and now all of a sudden he’s trying to talk to me. Something’s up. I know how he does.
I heard from C a couple days ago. He’s coming back for a few weeks in June/July for work. This time he’ll be 10 minutes away from me which will be…interesting. We’ll see what happens. I honestly never expected to see or hear from him again but hearing from him and knowing that he would be back made my week. But will I really have to wait til June to get some really good dick? I hope not, gimme a fucking break. I gotta see what else is out there in the meantime.
A Year In Our Lives 